At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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