So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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