So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
