Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Hippo gnu deer
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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