he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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