Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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