she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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