would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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