we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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