chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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