THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
