they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
