We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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