How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
