I hate your face
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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