It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
They have beer where we have blood.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
