there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
