just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize