Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
