We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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