I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize