i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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