i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
