OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This is classic penis vs brain.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize