There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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