I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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