her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
