butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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