Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Im part way to drunk.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
