Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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