I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize