if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
