she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
