I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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