office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
