he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
