I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
