He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
