his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
