my soul wont recognize me after tonight
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
