awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
