I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
