dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
vagina is talking i cant
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
