marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize