I heard we made out
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Green mimosas i think yes
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
