FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
