those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
