Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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