you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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