We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
