does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
