honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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