Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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