I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just found a bag of teeth...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize