just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
