please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
