By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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