Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
then he tried to convert me to islam
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
