So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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